What is this all about? Micro-cheating is the new wave of “bad stuff” that you can do to piss off people. Let’s explore!
You know they are not serious about you when they haven’t even told their friends about the two of you. Chances are that they might be dating someone from their circle already!First, let me clear this up, I am not okay with cheating of any kind; however, I found this “phrase” to be most disturbing in the current political climate of micro-aggressions and micro-everything.
So, what I first saw this phrase my first thought was, what in the actual hell is micro-cheating. Over to Google, and a quick search revealed of course; A Huffington Post article about what micro-cheating is. This article is from July of 2017, so I am a bit behind on the times but that is okay. An article about something this stupid is not a shocker to be on HuffPost, but I will link it and let you read the full thing for yourself. So, what is micro-cheating?
“Micro-cheating is a series of seemingly small actions that indicate a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship,” dating expert Melanie Schilling told HuffPost Australia.
Aka, having a life and a relationship where your significant other trusts you and is okay with not knowing every little intimate detail about what you do every second of every day. I found another website that has a list of 10 signs that your partner is micro-cheating on you, which makes it seem a lot more ominous of an idea and sound even more ridiculous than the HuffPost article.
The Huffington Post article is pretty straightforward and seems like pretty good advice on the surface; However, they overplay the seriousness of what they call micro-cheating. It basically throws the word trust out the window, which every strong relationship is built on, and says if they do anything that is seen to be ‘flirty’, they are bad.
“By allowing this, you are effectively saying ‘It’s ok to flirt with him/her, I’m happy to take second place and I don’t really matter.’
“Over time, this can erode your self-esteem and set you up to be the ‘victim’ in your relationship.”
I can agree to an extent, that flirting with people can lead to a bad situation in a relationship if the intentions behind the flirting are impure. Some people, I myself included, have a flirty nature to their personalities and it’s not some covert scheme to be unloyal to someone, it’s just a personality trait.
The second part of that quote and the latter part of the first part of the quote tell it all about the Huffington Post article. The site is a well-known, largely liberal feminist stronghold on the internet, which promotes a victimhood mentality to anyone who they see as a “marginalized” group.
This is my thought on this, If your partner has a flirty personality, this is something you knew going into the relationship and was probably part of what attracted you to them, to begin with. If you truly trust that person, flirting with people will not affect your relationship and if it does, communicating this to your partner is the key to not becoming a ‘victim’. If you let it erode your self-esteem, you have more issues than the other persons flirting to deal with.
Now, I know it seems like I’m justing hating on Huffington Post, and while I do detest that seething pool of liberal hate, the article does point out a few good things like understanding the intention behind the ‘micro-cheating’. Afterwards, they drone on about ‘fixing’ the issue in your partner instead of understanding the personality of the partner. My number one advice on this, to this point, is the best advice for ANY relationship and that is communication and trust. If you do not have those two, you do not have a relationship. Plain and simple.
With the Huffington Post article out-of-the-way, let us delve into this other lovely article over at New Love Times. I know, the name makes it sound like the article may have some merit to it; but No. Just No. It goes on a list of 10 Alarming Signs that your partner is … MICRO CHEATING on you. Wait, it gets better. Let’s go through some of the simpler parts of the list, and I will let you read the rest yourself and comment on what you think.
Your friends might inform you about their flirty nature
Chances are that by now your partner could have already made a move on one of your friends. Don’t take it lightly as their intentions might not be good. Talk to your significant other about it, before they further embarrass themselves.
Now, this is #1 in their list and I give the site credit for mentioning communication, but honestly, This is basically saying, “If your partner is flirty, chances are he’s trying to get with your friends. You have a horrible choice in partners, and shouldn’t trust any of them.” This goes back to your partner having a flirty personality, and intent. Communication is key, especially if your partner isn’t normally flirty, but this just goes as hateful. This site needs to have someone talk to them before they further embarrass themselves.
They have that one “special friend” with whom they text all the time
If they are texting to someone else, even when you are in bed together or while you are having a great time, it means that something is wrong. They value their “friend” more than you which can’t be good news.
Coming in at #2 on their list is this gem. Or perhaps, like me, they have a best friend whom they love talking to. This site, from this list, looks as though they believe the worst in people. My best friend and I will normally text each other at odd times of the day, no matter where we are at or who we are with; That does not imply that she values me more than she does anyone else, it simply implies that she values me. She will text her husband while she is out with me, does that imply that she does not value her time with me? I will have to ask her about this.
Their friends don’t know about your relationship
You know they are not serious about you when they haven’t even told their friends about the two of you. Chances are that they might be dating someone from their circle already!
This will be a short comment, this has NOTHING to do with micro-cheating and everything to do with something more ominous in the relationship; or not. Perhaps the relationship is new and they haven’t revealed it yet, or perhaps they are right and you’re the side person? Communication again fixes this.
If they take forever to text you back
They might text everyone back in a second, but when it comes to you, they always lose the track of time. It is because you are being taken for granted. You might already be a very high second order priority to them, which they simply would like to avoid.
Or they might not text everyone back in a second, and they are just busy? Not everyone has their face glued to their phone 24 hours a day. Now, honestly, this is a pet peeve of mine with the slow response times. However, this whole list just seems like a “your partner is horrible, dump em” list. I don’t know which is worse, this website or Cosmo on that?
I’m done with dealing with that website. I really hope that the term micro-cheating stays in 2017, we don’t need any more stupidity from 2016-2017 to follow us into 2018. I’m interested in knowing what you think about micro-cheating and what these two articles have said. Feel free to leave a comment in the comments section, or email me directly with your thoughts if you think I am off on something. As always, I enjoy hearing everyone’s opinions and having my mind changed.
Be kind, and be safe!